Message in a bottle

WALT: USE CORRECT TENSE.

WALT: USE MORE EXCITING VOCAB.

WALT: HOOK THE READER IN AT THE START.

The Message In a Bottle.

The bottle lay there, waiting for someone to discover the ancient object.

The slimy frail glass had been bashed around in the sea before it had washed up on the rocky beach.

The bottle was keeping the secret safe waiting until the right person had come along, someone good enough to keep the secret the bottle was hiding.

The secret was written on old parchment with a fancy ink pen dating back to 1889.

Then one day at precisely 4.58pm a small girl no older than 6 came walking down the shoreline. This girl could keep a secret, she kept walking probably looking for shells until she found the bottle wedged between two slimy rocks. She picked up the bottle and kept walking far away away from the beach.